Here is the comments that were made.

Basic Structure
Purpose: The purpose of informing the reader is not evident.
Scope: The topic is not sufficiently narrow for a research paper.
Introduction: The research paper has an introduction.
Conclusion: The research paper ends with a conclusion.
Feedback: Some feedback from the outline has been incorporated into the draft.
Works Cited Page: The research paper does not include a Works Cited page.
Content
Thesis Statement: The thesis statement is not included in the introduction.
Tone: The tone is serious.
Voice: The voice is not objective.
Language: The language of the research paper is mostly formal.
Body Paragraphs: Body paragraphs do not support the thesis statement, OR if there is no thesis, the body paragraphs do not support the argument implied.
Information/Support: The body paragraphs do not contain both facts AND quotations from research.
Citations: The research paper includes in-text citations, but some are noticeably missing.
Source/Citation Types: The citations include reliable and scholarly sources.
Length: The paper is 1,800–2,400 words.
Projected Final Draft
Purpose and Voice: The research paper does not fulfill its purpose of providing information about a topic. The information on the chosen topic is sparse, and the paper lacks significant details. The paper also contains irrelevant information. 
Ideas and Content: It is unclear whether the topic of this research paper interests the writer, because there are gaps in information. The thesis statement is vague, and the research is inadequate even though the topic is sufficiently narrow. The paper contains facts and quotations, but sources are not always cited. The writer relies heavily on websites, encyclopedias, or other general sources, and does not include enough research from periodicals and books. The research paper includes a Works Cited page, but it is not complete.
Structure and Organization: The structure of the research paper is somewhat clear. There is an introduction, body, and a conclusion. However, there is only one long body paragraph. The pattern of organization is somewhat unclear, and the writer tends to jump around. Minimal transitions are used to connect ideas.
Language and Word Choice: The writer attempts to consider purpose and audience in the language, tone, and voice of the research paper. However, the writer sometimes loses sight of one of these aspects and includes inappropriate language or wording. Imprecise language is sometimes confusing, but readers can usually figure out the meaning. The tone of the paper is serious, but some of the language is informal. The voice of the research paper is not consistently objective, and the writer’s opinions are present. 
Sentences and Mechanics: Sentences do not all contain complete thoughts. There are several unintentional fragments and run-ons. Some quotations are not punctuated correctly, and not all citations are in proper citation format. There are errors in grammar, in usage, and in mechanics that sometimes interfere with readers’ ability to understand.
Length: Word count is appropriate to the essay parameters, which is between 1800 and 2400 words. Word count is determined by the number of words in the body of the essay; headings, titles, and bibliographic information is not counted in this number.